Here's to you, Chicago.

Today i was running some errands around the neighborhood and i realized that Chicago is an ok place.
I've always liked chicago in one way or another. It's been home for as long as I know. I always end up back here whenever i don't know where to move next. Even recently I've thought of it just as a place that I'll be until we decide where to settle down.
But today, as I was walking the streets of lakeview it dawned on me that if we end up staying here, buying a house, raising our children...I will be ok with that.
Chicago is beautiful. It offers so much. I am glad to live here.

Speaking of being glad. I mostly just want to take a moment to appreciate some of thoe wonderful things that i have in my life.

Clark, he is so understanding and caring. He is always the perfect compliment to me and my emotions. It fills me with joy to know that I will not have to go through life alone. That there will always be someone there to share in my joys and in my tears.
My family, there is nothing to describe the wonderful feeling you have knowing that there are people out there for you know matter what.
My health, I can't imagine what life would be like if every day was a struggle.
Good food, I know it's silly but I find great happiness in food. The growth of simple food. The preparation of a meal either in reflection alone, or with good company. Sitting down to a well planned meal, enjoying and savoring the different flavors.

There is much much ore, but that is all I'm going to share right now.

Cheers, to family, friends, loved ones, good food, and Chicago.

Holidays are Here

It's been about a month since the last time and a lot has changed.  Nothing has changed.


Thanksgiving happened. For the last time until my brothers' wedding the whole family was together.  His marriage will make him an instant father of an 8 year old girl.  Teliah was here for the holiday as well.  In fact there was a lot of time spent with children 8 years of age or younger. It makes me think.


Am I going to be a good mother? How will I know what to do? How did my mother do it? What challenges will arise that I never would have thought of?  What if I can't have a baby?


Last time I was totally absorbed by the search for a wedding venue.  We had searched high and low to no avail.  I litterally ran out of ideas of places to look.  So when the holiday rolled around and family was all brought together I decided to just put it aside and not think about it at all for awhile.  That holiday is over and the next is quickly approaching, and guess what? I have a hold on a place.


It's the oldest working water mill left in the area around where I grew up.  The actual mill building has been turned into a museum of sorts.  There's another building they call The Millers House, that is the place I'm thinking will work.  We will set a tent up outside for the majority of the people, but the inside will have some seating and possibly all the food/beverages.  On the other side of the Mill there is a river with a small trail, there's a bridge and plenty of wooded area. I think this could be perfect.


A week for tomorrow Clark and I will be in the suburbs for the Hubatch Family Christmas and we have an appointment to go look at the inside of the Millers House.  If all goes well we will put the deposit down immediately.  I've been so excited at the prospect of not having to look anymore that I've even started thinking about "save the date" and invitation designs.


We threw a holiday type dinner party for a lot of Clark's co-workers the other night. I think it went really well.  There was tons of food.  Ham, turkey, potatoes, gravy, green beans, salad, brussel sprouts, apple pie, deviled eggs, shrimp cocktail, 2 kinds of stuff....and more!  I realized, once again, a dream of mine.  To somewhere down the line meet two or three couples that we can have a rotating dinner party with.  Maybe twice a month, at a different persons house every time.  The non-hosting couples always bring either an appetizer, soup, drinks or dessert while the hosting couple makes the rest.  I think it would be awesome if only I had that kind of friends.


Christmas is coming.  That always brings out some wonderful old memories and makes several new ones.  I can't wait. 

Well, here goes nothing!

I feel like, right now, the only journey I'm on is one that leads to bankruptcy. Or insanity. 
I'm planning my wedding.
When, decades from now, I look back on this time in my life I'm sure it will be with a smile and a sparkle in my eye.  At the moment there is no sparkle. The part that I'll look back on as my future self will start after I have found my place and I'm doing all the fun things.
Designing invitations and 'save the dates', figuring out the "look and feel" of the evening, deciding what kind of food and drink we are going to have. These things are fun.
None of that can actually start happening until that one little detail is figured out...where we will host our event.


My feelings on The Big Day are this:
You should have fun, celebrate with all of your close friends and family. Eat, drink, be merry.  Have a party where you can show off the person that you care so much about to all the other people in your life that you care about.
BUT...after the party, still have enough money to start that life you just celebrated the beginning of.


Ultimately I just don't think that people need to go to such elaborate measures in order to have a good time and celebrate.


Is that just me?


So, this journey will continue. I will search for lofts, and galleries.  I will yelp and google. I will not stop brainstorming.  Then, one day, hopefully soon, I will write a check for a deposit and it will feel SO good.


Then the fun will begin...